id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
