i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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