Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
pop tarts are not kleenex
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
