I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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