I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
