so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
