Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
