the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
