i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
