There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think I am morally bankrupt
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
