my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
