Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
