Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
