I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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