i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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