did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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