We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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