If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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