she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
