Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
