let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
