after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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