If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
