I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
