That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
