He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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