i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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