How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
