I wish i was in the wii world.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
