yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
its liver damage thursday
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
