so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There r osticjed everywhere
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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