It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
