just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
