Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
