I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
