I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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