you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
