Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
