Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
