Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
