even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i out mim tonsoeep
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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