I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Randomize
