hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
