The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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