walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You were trust falling into bushes
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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