Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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