I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
