things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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