u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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