No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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