I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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