i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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