Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
